


that one powerful squad with too much power

by pizzasgf



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Texting, eskewww, lets get this bread
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2019-10-30 06:16:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17823458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pizzasgf/pseuds/pizzasgf
Summary: Lee Chan: welcome to this group chat with all my friendsLee Jihoon: there is no way you’re friends with twelve peopleLee Chan: just cause it’s impossible for you doesn’t mean i can’t do itLee Jihoon: alright listen here you mouldy piece of toast—Chan decides to create a group chat with all his friends in it and ends up creating a friendship group who will last until the end of time (or until Jihoon goes batshit crazy and murders everyone in cold blood).





	1. the beginning of a mess

**Lee** **Chan** created a group chat

 

**Lee** **Chan** added **Kwon** **Soonyoung** , **Choi** **Seungcheol** , **Jeon** **Wonwoo** , **Lee** **Jihoon,** **Xu** **Minghao** , **Boo** **Seungkwan** , **Wen** **Junhui** , **Kim** **Mingyu** , **Chwe** **Hansol** , **Hong** **Jisoo** , **Lee** **Seokmin** and **Yoon** **Jeonghan** to the group chat

 

**Lee** **Chan** has named the group chat **all** **my** **friends**

 

 

**all** **my** **friends (** **13)**

 

**7:42 PM**

 

**Lee** **Chan** : hello friends

 

**Jeon** **Wonwoo** : what is this

 

**Choi** **Seungcheol** : what

 

**Xu** **Minghao** : there’s so many ppl in his chat wtf

 

**Lee** **Chan** : welcome to this group chat with all my friends

 

**Lee** **Jihoon** : there is no way you have twelve friends

 

**Lee** **Chan** : just cause it’s impossible for you doesn’t mean i can’t do it

 

**Lee** **Jihoon** : alright listen here you mouldy piece of toast

**Lee** **Jihoon** : i don’t need friends, they disappoint me

 

**Lee** **Chan** : what am i then, chopped liver?

 

**Lee** **Jihoon** : bold of you to assume that we’re friends

 

**Choi** **Seungcheol** : alright knock it off kids

 

**Lee** **Jihoon** : kids?

**Lee** **Jihoon** : the fuck i don’t even know you

 

**Lee** **Chan** : you can’t stop me

 

**Choi** **Seungcheol** : chan you’re younger than me

 

**Lee** **Chan** : o

**Lee** **Chan** : anyways welcome everyone to this new group chat

**Lee** **Chan** : i wanted to introduce all my friends to each other because friendship is magic

**Lee** **Chan** : and maybe cause i wanna introduce awesome ppl to awesome ppl

 

**Xu** **Minghao** : aww channie

 

**Jeon** **Wonwoo** : this is why i love chan

 

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : WONWOO GET YOUR ASS UP AND DO THE LAUNDRY

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : ITS YOUR TURN ASSHOLE

 

**Lee** **Jihoon** : oh god help us Soonyoung is here

 

**Jeon** **Wonwoo** : i did it yesterday asshole, it’s your turn

 

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : WHAT

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : WHAT DAY IS IT

 

**Lee** **Seokmin** : issa tuesday

 

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : oh it is my turn haha

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : thank you “lee seokmin”

 

**Lee** **Seokmin** : no problem “kwon soonyoung”

 

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : OOH

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : JIHOON HEYYY

 

**Lee** **Jihoon** : jesus christ

 

**Hong** **Jisoo** : yes?

**Hong** **Jisoo** : oh

 

**Boo** **Seungkwan** : what’s up mofos

 

**Kim** **Mingyu** : morning

**Kim** **Mingyu** : what’s this

 

**Lee** **Chan** : a group chat with all my friends

 

**Kim** **Mingyu** : oh

**Kim** **Mingyu** : cute

 

**Lee** **Seokmin** : oh hello mingyu

 

**Kim** **Mingyu** : hey seokmin

 

**Lee** **Chan** : oh you two know each other?

 

**Kim** **Mingyu** : yeah we both work in this one restaurant

 

**Lee** **Chan** : i’m assuming that jihoon and soonyoung also know each other

 

**Lee** **Jihoon** : no we don’t

 

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : yes we do

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : hey that hurts

 

**Chwe** **Hansol** : nice to meet everyone

**Chwe** **Hansol** : do you guys want to meet my pet caterpillar

 

**Boo** **Seungkwan** : oh hello Hansol!

**Boo** **Seungkwan** : i haven’t seen you since graduation, how have you been?

 

**Chwe** **Hansol** : horrible

 

**Boo** **Seungkwan** : mood

 

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : what the fuck SO EARLY IN THE MORNING

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : WHICH ONE OF YOU HEADASSES DID THIS

 

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : it was chan

 

**Kim** **Mingyu** : it was chan

 

**Lee** **Jihoon** : it was Chan

 

**Jeon** **Wonwoo** : it was chan

 

**Chwe** **Hansol** : chan

 

**Lee** **Chan** : uhhh

**Lee** **Chan** : it was boo seungkwan

 

**Boo** **Seungkwan** : bitch tf this was your idea 

 

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : aww channie that’s so sweet of you, you’re introducing all your friends to each other so we can become that one powerful squad with too much power 

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : i like that

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : maybe I can find some hoes

 

**Lee** **Seokmin** : what

 

**Choi** **Seungcheol** : ew it’s Jeonghan

 

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : oh would you look at that, one of my hoes are here

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : that makes it easier for me, one less person to take care of

 

**Choi** **Seungcheol** : i am not your hoe

 

**Xu** **Minghao** : oh yeah Kim Mingyu?

 

**Kim** **Mingyu** : yes?

**Kim** **Mingyu** : who’s asking?

 

**Xu** **Minghao** : look at my username

 

**Kim** **Mingyu** : oh you’re that quiet kid in class who hangs out with bambam

 

**Xu** **Minghao** : yeah anyways mr lee changed our assignment’s due date to next week Thursday

**Xu** **Minghao** : so don’t stress

 

**Kim** **Mingyu** : ARE YOU KIDDING ME I FINISHED IT ALL YESTERDAY NIGHT

**Kim** **Mingyu** : I CRIED

 

**Xu** **Minghao** : lololol all i’ve written is my name

 

**Jeon** **Wonwoo** : you’re screwed

 

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : ew who writes names anymore

 

**Hong** **Jisoo** : me so no fake snakes steal my stuff

 

**Choi** **Seungcheol** : the other day you stole poor pedro’s latte because you were too impatient to wait

 

**Hong** **Jisoo** : seungcheol, i am OFFENDED by this accusation!

 

**Boo** **Seungkwan** : this is why i put my name after every sentence

 

**Lee** **Jihoon** : so it’s like

**Lee** **Jihoon** : Polar bears are carnivorous bears that can be found in areas with extremely cold climates such as Canada, Alaska, Greenland, Russia and Norway. Boo Seungkwan. They are able to live in such cold environments thanks to their thicc fur and thicc layers of fat (called blubber) that protect their body. Boo Seungkwan. They also have black skin that are located under their coats and this skin helps them to keep warm. Boo Seungkwan.

 

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : AHAHAHAHAH

 

**Boo** **Seungkwan** : oh my god that’s beautiful

 

**Kim** **Mingyu** : IDK WHATS FUNNIER

**Kim** **Mingyu** : THE POLAR BEAR FACTS OR THE BOO SEUNGKWANS

 

**Choi** **Seungcheol** : did you search the facts up?

 

**Lee** **Jihoon** : nah man, I remembered it from the top of my head

 

**Choi** **Seungcheol** : how....

 

**Lee** **Jihoon** : leave me and my polar bears alone

 

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : jihoon you need friends

 

**Lee** **Jihoon** : stfu i said i don’t need friends cause they disappoint me

 

**Jeon** **Wonwoo** : that is a big mood

 

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : what the hell wonwoo what am i to you then

 

**Jeon** **Wonwoo** : an annoyance

 

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : oof man that really hurt

 

**Jeon** **Wonwoo** : i’m kidding, you’re more like a person

 

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : i’ll take that :DDD

 

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : I don’t see how that’s any better

 

**Lee** **Seokmin** : do you think it’s wise to combine coffee with red bull

**Lee** **Seokmin** : i’m asking for a friend

 

**Choi** **Seungcheol** : you can die from that

 

**Lee** **Seokmin** : at this rate, death sounds more appealing than failing this assignment

 

**Jeon** **Wonwoo** : same

**Jeon** **Wonwoo** : although, i’d pick death over anything

 

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : even books and cats?

 

**Jeon** **Wonwoo** : i’d pick death over most things

 

**Xu** **Minghao** : lol same

**Xu** **Minghao** : i should probably start that assignment

 

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : probably is an understatement

 

**Hong** **Jisoo** : i just remembered that we all met in under an hour ago

 

**Lee** **Seokmin** : oh

**Lee** **Seokmin** : oh you’re right

 

**Lee** **Jihoon** : thankfully there hasn’t been any dick pics yet

 

**Kim** **Mingyu** : why would someone send a dick pic without your permission

 

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : accidents can happen

 

**Hong** **Jisoo** : are you implying that you sent a dick pic to someone by accident

 

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : *sweats*

 

**Xu** **Minghao** : chan introduced all of us to each other and if you’re friends with chan, you’re automatically a good person

 

**Boo** **Seungkwan** : facts ^

 

**Lee** **Jihoon** : soonyoung probably blackmailed poor chan

 

**Lee** **Seokmin** : soonyoung doesn’t deserve any of this slander

 

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : dude ikr

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : tysm for being the only one on my side

 

**Choi** **Seungcheol** : what i want to know is why is a pure angel like chan friends with jeonghan

 

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : fuck you, chan is my son

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : plus, i’m the only angel in this household

 

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : WHAT

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : no he’s MY son

 

**Kim** **Mingyu** : SHUT UP HES MY SON

 

**Hong** **Jisoo** : actually chan is my son

 

**Choi** **Seungcheol** : NO CHAN IS MY SON

 

**Boo** **Seungkwan** : chan has so many daddies, w h a t

 

**Jeon** **Wonwoo** : what?

 

**Boo** **Seungkwan** : what

 

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : do you know chan’s full name?

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : it’s lee JUNGchan

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : AND IM JEONGhan

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : THIS IS CONCRETE PROOF THAT CHAN IS MY SON

 

**Lee** **Chan** : no you made that up

 

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : ........

 

**Lee** **Chan** : :3

 

**Choi** **Seungcheol** : chan is my son so everyone can suck it

**Choi** **Seungcheol** : 😜

 

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : seungcheol thats disgusting never use emojis again

 

**Choi** **Seungcheol** : what the hell man, why

 

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : you’re so old

 

**Choi** **Seungcheol** : WE’RE THE SAME AGE

 

**Jeon** **Wonwoo** : emojis are a mistake

 

**Chwe** **Hansol** : hey man, nothin’s wrong with em

**Chwe** **Hansol** : 👁👄👁

**Chwe** **Hansol** : look at this beauty

 

**Jeon** **Wonwoo** : see this is exactly what i mean

 

**Hong** **Jisoo** : why use emoji when you have

**Hong** **Jisoo** : kaomoji

 

**Kwon** **Soonyoung** : what’s that

 

**Hong** **Jisoo** : ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

**Hong** **Jisoo** : this

 

**Kwon Soonyoung** : oh my goodness it’s beautiful 

 

**Lee** **Chan** : tears are falling from my eyes

 

**Choi** **Seungcheol** : WHAT

 

**Yoon** **Jeonghan** : DO I HAVE TO SLAP A BITCH

 

**Xu** **Minghao** : hi i’m supposed to be working on my assignment but i heard Chan is upset, who do i need to kill

 

**Boo** **Seungkwan** : i have a spoon in my hand and I’m not afraid to use it

 

**Wen** **Junhui** : hi what’s going on

 

**Lee** **Chan** : i’m so happy, my friends are getting along and they’re becoming friends

 

**Wen** **Junhui** : woah, you have so many friends

**Wen** **Junhui** : that’s surprising

 

**Lee** **Chan** : i-

**Lee** **Chan** : uh

**Lee** **Chan** : oh everyone’s here now so let’s all introduce ourselves officially!!!


	2. you guys are big messes

**all** **my** **friends**   **(13)**

 

**8:17 PM**

 

 **Lee** **Jihoon** : what’s the point, i’m pretty sure our usernames are our real names

 

 **Lee** **Chan** : oh

 **Lee** **Chan** : oh you’re right

 

 **Jeon** **Wonwoo** : well that was great

 **Jeon** **Wonwoo** : i’ll be going now

 

 **Lee** **Chan** : but

 **Lee** **Chan** : i wanted everyone to be friends :((((

 

 **Jeon** **Wonwoo** : nice to meet everyone, i’m jeon wonwoo, let’s be friends

 

 **Wen** **Junhui** : nice to meet everyone, i’m wen junhui, let’s be friends

 

 **Chwe** **Hansol** : nice to meet everyone, i’m chwe hansol, let’s be friends

 

 **Lee** **Chan** : ......now hang on a minute

 

 **Choi** **Seungcheol** : why do those sound like the message you see when someone sends you a friend request in a game

 

 **Boo** **Seungkwan** : because those ARE friend requests, you dimwit

 

 **Yoon** **Jeonghan** : HA CHEOL YOU DUMBASS

 

 **Lee** **Seokmin** : big oof

 

 **Jeon** **Wonwoo** : we’ll just learn more about each other over time i guess

 

 **Lee** **Chan** : hhhhhhhh

 **Lee** **Chan** : well alright

 

 **Jeon** **Wonwoo** : what’s that smell

 

 **Kwon** **Soonyoung** : OH MY GOD MY TOAST

 

 **Jeon** **Wonwoo** : WHAT DID YOU DO

 

 **Boo** **Seungkwan** : THE FIRE ALARM IS GOING OFF

 

 **Xu** **Minghao** : SHIT MY HOMEWORK

 

 **Chwe** **Hansol** : oh shit my assignment is due in two hours and i haven’t even wrote half of it yet

 

 **Hong** **Jisoo** : oh goodness, my shift starts in less than twenty minutes and I haven’t left my house

 

 **Kim** **Mingyu** : you guys are big messes

 

 **Wen** **Junhui** : haha sucks to be y’all

 

 **Xu** **Minghao** : you told me you had an assignment due

 

 **Wen** **Junhui** : .......

 

 **Xu** **Minghao** : and he left

 

 **Yoon** **Jeonghan** : i’m so glad i’m graduating this year so i won’t have to deal with shit like this

 

 **Kwon** **Soonyoung** : WONWOO HURRY UP AND LEAVE

 

 **Jeon** **Wonwoo** : I ALREADY PUT OUT THE FIRE THE FUCK

 

 **Kwon** **Soonyoung** : ppl will know it’s us if we don’t go out sO START RUNNING

 

 **Hong** **Jisoo** : soooo

 

 **Boo** **Seungkwan** : phew i’m out safe

 **Boo** **Seungkwan** : hong jisoo, aren’t you meant to be at work

 

 **Hong** **Jisoo** : :o

 

 **Lee** **Chan** : wow, introductions were great, wow everyone knows each other now

 

 **Choi** **Seungcheol** : he’s so passive aggressive that it scares me

 

 **Yoon** **Jeonghan** : he learnt from the best

 

 **Boo** **Seungkwan** : wait

 **Boo** **Seungkwan** : soonyoung, do you have blond hair

 **Boo** **Seungkwan** : is it just me or are you wearing boxers with hamsters on them

 

 **Kwon** **Soonyoung** : yes

 **Kwon** **Soonyoung** : are you the one with a towel on his head and orange slippers

 

 **Boo** **Seungkwan** : yeah

 **Boo** **Seungkwan** : OH MY GOD YOURE EMBARRASSING ME

 **Boo** **Seungcheol** : actually that looks fun lemme join

 

 **Wen** **Junhui** : whats he doing

 

 **Kim** **Mingyu** : didn’t you have assignment

 

 **Wen** **Junhui** : minghao and i actually had that conversation two weeks ago

 **Wen** **Junhui** : that meanie (´；ω；`)

 

 **Xu** **Minghao** : you’re welcome

 

 **Kim** **Mingyu** : do your homework

 

 **Xu** **Minghao** : fuck you and your timeliness

 

 **Chwe** **Hansol** : oh my god guys, apparently mcdonald’s fries are only one dollar

 

 **Lee** **Seokmin** : DID SOMEONE SAY MCDONALD’S

 **Lee** **Seokmin** : OMG FORREAL

 **Lee** **Seokmin** : TAKE ME AS WELL

 

 **Chwe** **Hansol** : AIGHT BET LETS MEET UP AT THE PENIS SHAPED TREE

 

 **Lee** **Seokmin** : WHAT

 

 **Chwe** **Hansol** : SMTH LIKE THIS

 **Chwe** **Hansol** : 🌳🌳

🌴

 

 **Lee** **Seokmin** : WHAT

 **Lee** **Seokmin** : WAIT I THINK I KNOW

 **Lee** **Seokmin** : ALR LETS MEET UP

 

 **Xu** **Minghao** : what the heck did i just read

 

 **Lee** **Jihoon** : aren’t they concerned about the fact that they’re strangers

 

 **Lee** **Chan** : they’re both good ppl

 

 **Choi** **Seungcheol** : am i the only one wondering what soonyoung did to embarrass seungkwan

 

 **Jeon** **Wonwoo** : you don’t want to know

 

 **Choi** **Seungcheol** : but i do???

 

 **Yoon** **Jeonghan** : hey dickhead look up

 

 **Choi** **Seungcheol** : what?

 **Choi** **Seungcheol** : WHAT THE HELL JEONGHAN

 

 **Yoon** **Jeonghan** : AHAHAHAHA

 **Yoon** **Jeonghan** : SEUNGCHEOL WHAT THE FUCK THIS WAS A NICE SHIRT

 

 **Hong** **Jisoo** : i just saw this guy throw a donut at his friend who was wearing scary mask and i don’t know who i relate to more

 

 **Yoon** **Jeonghan** : wait

 **Yoon** **Jeonghan** : are you the guy wearing a sweater with a cat on it

 

 **Hong** **Jisoo** : huh

 **Hong** **Jisoo** : oh it’s you

 **Hong** **Jisoo** : nice to see you irl ^-^

 

 **Lee** **Chan** : thanks to me, you some of y’all have met

 **Lee** **Chan** : am i amazing or am i amazing?

 

 **Lee** **Jihoon** : that’s debatable

 

 **Lee** **Chan** : goddamnit hyung, let me have this

 **Lee** **Chan** : i’m just so glad that all my friends are meeting each other

 **Lee** **Chan** : is this what a father feels like when his children are making friends

 

 **Yoon** **Jeonghan** : WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE WAY TOO YOUNG TO BE THINKING THAT YOUNG MAN

 

 **Lee** **Chan** : i-

 **Lee** **Chan** : alrighty then

 

 **Jeon** **Wonwoo** : well, thanks to chan, i know now that seungkwan lives in the same apartment complex

 

 **Lee** **Jihoon** : .......

 

 **Kwon** **Soonyoung** : dude imagine if everyone in this group chat actually lives in the same apartment

 **Kwon** **Soonyoung** : that would be crazy

 

 **Lee** **Jihoon** : nah the author isn’t that lazy

 

 **Kwon** **Soonyoung** : vro what

 

 **Lee** **Jihoon** : what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ouch i hit my braces
> 
> i’m a dumbass that was writing their introductions when realised i used their real names instead of nicknames 
> 
> thanks for reading (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡


	3. fred has left jeonghan and his hoes

**all my friends (13)**

**1:36 AM**

**Jeon Wonwoo** : SEUNGKWAN AND SOONYOUNG  
**Jeon Wonwoo** : DO YOU MIND

**Lee Jihoon** : SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP  
**Lee Jihoon** : WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN DOING

**Wen Junhui** : wat

**Boo Seungkwan** : we’re learning the dance to red flavour by red velvet

**Xu Minghao** : why not power up

**Kwon Soonyoung:** i wanted to dance to all star tho

**Lee Seokmin** : that song is old but gold

**Kwon Soonyoung** : dude ikr

**Lee Jihoon:** but why the fuck  
**Lee Jihoon** : are you dancing  
**Lee Jihoon** : IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

**Kwon Soonyoung** : because

**Lee Jihoon** : SOONYOUNG ISTG

**Kwon Soonyoung** : why are you so upset in the first place

**Lee Jihoon** : CAUSE IM FRED

**Wen** **Junhui** : tf

**Lee Seokmin** : hey fred

**Xu Minghao** : waddup fred

**Lee Jihoon** : fuck i meant tired

**Kwon Soonyoung** : I BUSTED A LUNG  
**Kwon Soonyoung** : QUICK SOMEONE CHANGE HIS NAME TO FRED

**Lee Chan** changed **Lee Jihoon** ’s name to **fred**

**fred** : what did i do to deserve this

**Lee Chan** : you breathed

**Kim Mingyu** : i’ve always wanted to learn the dance to bboom bboom

**Kwon Soonyoung** : but you do know the dance to boom boom

**Kim Mingyu** : what?

**Boo Seungkwan** : shhhh  
**Boo Seungkwan** : anyways  
**Boo Seungkwan** : let’s learn me gustas tu next

**Xu Minghao** : why old songs tho

**Boo Seungkwan** : the dance is iconic shut up

**Kwon Soonyoung** : bUT I WANT TO DANCE TO ALL STAR

**Wen Junhu** i: omg let’s freestyle dance to meme songs tmr

**Xu Minghao** : why

**Kwon Soonyoung** : OH MY GOD YES

**Chwe Hansol** : ooh  
**Chwe Hansol** : can i join

**Xu Minghao** : what the fuck why

**Chwe Hansol** : cause i love dancing to them???  
**Chwe Hansol** : duhhh???

**Kim Mingyu** : idk why but i feel like you were asleep but you suddenly woke up after someone mentioned memes in the group chat

**Chwe Hansol** : i mean  
**Chwe Hansol** : youre not wrong

**Lee Seokmi** n: oh my god same

**fred** : yknow what fuck yall im muting this stupid group chat and im going to sleep  
**fred** : fuck nvm i hear me gustas tu and very loud footsteps  
**fred** : i love mgt and all but I WANT TO SLEEP

**Choi Seungcheo** l: wtf why are you guys up so late  
**Choi Seungcheol** : youre still young, get as much rest as you can

**fred** : i would but fUCKING SOONYOUNG AND SEUNGKWAN WONT SHUT UP

**Choi Seungcheol** : since when was there a fred in the group chat

**fred** : i'm jihoon you dipshit

**Choi Seungcheol** : oh

**Kwon Soonyoung** : AHAHAHAHAH  
**Kwon Soonyoung** : oh my gosh chan grant me admin rights i have an amazing idea

**Lee Chan** : if you want it then give me three compliments :3

**Kwon Soonyoung** : youre cute, youre funny and youre smart

**fred** : as much as i hate admitting this, soonyoung is absolutely correct

**Lee Chan**  granted **Kwon Soonyoung**  the rights to the group chat

**Kwon Soonyoung** changed **Choi Seungcheol** 's name to **papi papi**

**papi papi** : why

**Kwon Soonyoung** : idk bro, you seem like a daddy

**papi papi:** im sorry what

**Hong Jisoo** : he looks like a daddy but he acts like a dad

**papi papi** : i don't get it

**Kwon Soonyoung** changed **Hong Jisoo** 's name to **furry**

**furry** : im NOT a furry wtf

**Kwon Soonyoung** : lol sorry but that was the first name that popped in mimd  
**Kwon Soonyoung** : i think it's cause seungcheol said you were wearing a shirt with a cat on it

**Kim Mingyu** : speaking of some ppl meeting up  
**Kim Mingyu** : @ **Chwe Hansol** @ **Lee Seokmin** how did your mcdonalds adventure go

**Chwe Hanso** l: it was lit

**Lee Seokmin** : turns out i'm literally a year older than him  
**Lee Seokmin** : we have the same birthday  
**Lee Seokmin** : how cool is that :DD

**Chwe Hansol** : ikr  
**Chwe Hansol** : its so cool

**Kwon Soonyoung** changed **Lee Seokmin** 's name to **the only good one here**

**the only good one here** : owo  
**the only good one here** : im honoured

**Kwon Soonyoung** changed **Chwe Hansol** 's name to **shimmy shimmy**

**shimmy shimmy** : nice

**Kwon Soonyoung** changed **Kim Mingyu** 's name to **kaboom**

**kaboom** : was this because i said that i want to learn bboom bboom's choreo

**Kwon Soonyoung** : yes

**Lee Chan** changed **Kwon Soonyoung'** s name to **gimme back my sweatpants**

**gimme back my sweatpants** : I NEEDED THEM CAUSE @ **Jeon Wonwoo** TOOK MY TRACKSUIT

**Jeon Wonwoo** : WTF SOONYOUNG I FINALLY FELL ASLEEP  
**Jeon Wonwoo** : AND THEYRE ORIGINALLY MINE

**gimme back my sweatpants** : LIES

**gimme back my sweatpants** changed **Jeon Wonwoo** 's name to **thief**

**thief** : fuck you im not opening bottles for you anymore

**gimme back my sweatpants** : I-  
**gimme back my sweatpants** : UGH

**gimme back my sweatpants** changed **Xu Minghao** 's nickname to **kekermit**

**kekermit** : ooh i love this

**fred** : why does everyone get names they actually like while i'm stuck with this

**kekermit** : because youre fred

**fred** : fuck you, im going to sleep

**Lee Chan** : no one asked

**papi papi** : gn

**gimme back my sweatpants** changed **Yoon Jeonghan** 's name to **michelangelo**

**gimme back my sweatpants** changed **Wen Junhui** 's name to **raphael**

**gimme back my sweatpants** changed **Boo Seungkwan** 's name to **donatello**

**gimme back my sweatpants** changed **Lee Chan** 's name to **leonardo**

**leonardo** : why

**gimme back my sweatpants** : because

-

**all my friends (13)**

**11:41 AM**

**donatello** : good morning everyone!

**kaboom** : wait who is donatello again

**donatello** : an italian sculptor from the renaissance  
**donatello** : wait who are you

**raphael** : lol i fell asleep yesterday  
**raphael** : wait wrong chat  
**raphael** : wait what the heck  
**raphael** : im so confused

**furry** : me too  
**furry** : what happened after i left

**raphael** : oh god why is there a furry in our group chat

**furry** : oh god someone change my name please

**michelangelo** : whats up fuckers  
**michelangelo** : whats with all the name changes tf

**gimme back my sweatpants** : that would be my doing

**michelangelo** : chan grant me the rights to this group chat

**leonardo** granted **michelangelo** the rights to the group chat

**gimme back my sweatpant** s: tf just like that??  
**gimme back my sweatpants** : without asking for anything??  
**gimme back my sweatpants** : this is: racism

**micheangelo** : how is this racism, everyone here is literally korean

**shimmy shimmy** : i was born in new york but i came to korea when i was 5

**donatello** : oh my gosh, that brings back memories  
**donatello** : you'd always say that whenever someone sats new york lol

**shimmy shimmy** : oh yeah, i remember i said that when the teach was like "tell us an interesting fact about yourself

**furry** : oh my gosh, you were born in new york??

**shimmy shimmy** : I'm pretty sure i am  
**shimmy shimmy** : unless my parents have been lying to me for my entire life

**furry** : i was born LA!

**shimmy shimmy** : o

**michelangelo** changed the group chat name to **jeonghan and his hoes**

**kekermit** : gm  
**kekermit** : wait wtf

**michelangelo** changed **papi papi** 's name to **hoe #1**

**michelangelo** changed **furry** 's name to **hoe #2**

**michelangelo** changed **the only good one here** 's name to **hoe #3**

**michelangelo** changed **kekermit** 's name to **hoe #4**

**fred** : not today satan  
**fred** : id rather be a blond white boi than be a hoe

**fred** has left **jeonghan and his hoes**

**kaboom** : WHY IS THIS FUNNY  
**kaboom** : FRED HAS LEFT JEONGHAN AND HIS HOES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the fred thing was inspired by a real conversation with me and my friends.
> 
> thanks for reading owo
> 
> if you want, hmu on [twitter](https://twitter.com/bambambamzi)


	4. god how am i gonna survive without making a your mum joke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seungcheol - hoe #1  
> Jeonghan - michelangelo  
> Jisoo - hoe #2  
> Junhui - raphael  
> Soonyoung - gimme back my sweatpants  
> Wonwoo - thief  
> Jihoon - fred  
> Minghao - hoe #4  
> Mingyu - kaboom  
> Seokmin - hoe #3  
> Seungkwan - donatello  
> Hansol - shimmy shimmy  
> Chan - leonardo

**jeonghan and his hoes (12)**

**1:12 PM**

**hoe #4** : @ **kaboom** did you hear the bullshit that just came outta this guys mouth

**kaboom** : whos asking  
**kaboom** : how do you know this substitute is spouting bullshit

**hoe #4** : who else in this group chat has the same class as you

**kaboom** : omg minghao i didnt know you were a hoe

**hoe #4** : im not tf

**raphael** : he is a hoe  
**raphael** : the biggest hoe  
**raphael** : minghoe

**gimme back my sweatpants** : omg minghoe

**gimme back my sweatpants** changed **hoe #4** 's name to **minghoe**

**raphael** : a very accurate name

**minghoe** : shut it raphael, youre the least popular ninja turtle

**shimmy shimmy** : hey, raphael is cool

**minghoe** : yeah whatever  
**minghoe** : anyways  
**minghoe** : wtf is this teacher's deal

**michelangelo** : i smell tea

**donatello** : spill it

**kaboom** : this shitty substitute teacher  
**kaboom** : he's the actual worst

**leonardo** : come on hyungs, he cant be that bad

**minghoe** : are you sure about that, little channie  
**minghoe** : you cant learn shit from this guy cause he doesnt explain things properly  
**minghoe** : he cant take a joke and hes also a creep  
**minghoe** : and he deadass goes  
**minghoe** : whoever makes a “shitty” joke next goes to detention  
**minghoe** : god how am i gonna survive without making a your mum joke

**kaboom** : careful, he has zero tolerance for phones  
**kaboom** : he will literally yeet your phone across the room if he finds you using it

**leonardo** : but that’s illegal, ppl can’t do that

**donatello** : this guy sounds like he doesn’t care whether it’s illegal or not

**hoe #1** : omg do you have that one substitute who looks like dr eggman

**michelangelo** : OMG I FUCKING HATE THAT BITCH

**minghoe** : LMFAO I SEE THE RESEMBLANCE

**kaboom** : i’m trying so hard not to laugh omg

**minghoe** : you’re doing a great job

**gimme back my sweatpants** : omg i hate that substitute  
**gimme back my sweatpants** : he's so weird and horrible at teaching

**leonardo** : is he that bad??

**thief** : yes chan  
**thief** : jihoon and i had him as an actual teacher  
**thief** : he was so shit that we had to teach ourselves everything  
**thief** : what kind of teacher are you when you cant even teach properly

**michelangelo** : do you mean: almost every teacher ever

**gimme back my sweatpants** : OOF SHOTS FIRED

**hoe #3** : AIRHORN SOUNDS

**thief** : what do you have him in

**kaboom** : maths  
**kaboom** : how am i gonna pass, maths is literally my worst subject  
**kaboom** : paired with the worst teacher?  
**kaboom** : im doomed  
**kaboom** : im gonna fail and drop out and work at mcdonalds for the rest of my life

**michelangelo** : and ppl call me dramatic

**minghoe** : lol chill mingyu, at least he isnt our actual teacher

**shimmy shimmy** : my in stinks tell me that that is gonna change

**furry** : what?

**michelangelo** : words are so weird

**raphael** : omg someone pls change furry's name thats making me cry

**furry** : f*ck you

**raphael** : whyd you censor yourself lol

**gimme back my sweatpants** changed **furry** 's nickname to **up up up and away**

**up up up and away** : why

**kaboom** : MINGHAO DID YOU JUST HEAR THAT

**minghoe** : omg

**shimmy shimmy** : wait is he gonna be your actual teacher

**kaboom** : lol no, the universe doesnt hate us that much

**minghoe** : no, he was showing this girl one of the formulas  
**minghoe** : and the girl deadass goes, "can i have a new sheet."  
**minghoe** : prof eggman is like, "why?"  
**minghoe** : AND THE GIRL DEADASS GOES, "you vandalised my work, i demand a new sheet!!"  
**minghoe** : AND THEN SHE GOES ON A FULL ON RANT ABOUT HOW HIS HANDWRITING IS SO UGLY THAT IT DISTRACTS HER SKSKSKSKS

**kaboom** : she is my spirit animal omg

**hoe #1** : that eminds me of this one time where i just finished a maths test and i turn around to see jeonghan scraping his mechanical pencil with a ruler  
**hoe #1** : the douchey egg is like "wtf are you doing" and jeonghan gives him the death stare and says "isnt it obvious."

**gimme back my sweatpants** : AHAHAHAHAHA

**minghoe** : FUCK FUCK FUCK

**up up up and away** : language!

**minghoe** : SHIMMY SHIMMY JINXED IT  
**minghoe** : I FORGOT YOUR NAME BUT YOU JINXED IT!!!

**kaboom** : THE UNIVERSE DOES HATE US AFTER ALL

**shimmy shimmy** : shit i was right??  
**shimmy shimmy** : btw my name is hansol

**michelangelo** : lol howd you get him as your actual teacher??

**kaboom** : some kinda switch or smth idk  
**kaboom** : FUCK IM ACTUALLY GONNA FAIL

**thief** : i can tutor you, if you like  
**thief** : and jihoon can as well, if hes up for it

**kaboom** : :o

**minghoe** : will it be any trouble??

**thief** : i insist  
**thief** : i need to get out of the apartment, i can stand being in the same room as soonyoung for much longer

**gimme back my sweatpants** : tf

**minghoe** : yes pls

**thief** : wait wheres jihoon

**michelangelo** : he left cause he didnt want to be a hoe

**thief** : someone add him back tf

**gimme back my sweatpants** added **fred**  to **jeonghan and his hoes**

**fred** : wtf whyd you add me back, i was enjoying the peace and quiet

**thief** : we need your help

**fred** : if you want me to stay then grant me admin rights so i can change my name 

**michelangelo** : okay what the fuck

**kaboom** : do it, its for the benefit of our education

**gimme back my sweatpants** : but fred is iconic

**fred** : im gonna leave in 3.....

**gimme back my sweatpants** : sigh

**gimme back my sweatpants** granted **fred**  the rights to the group chat

**fred**  named the group chat **jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon**

**fred**  has changed his nickname to **jihoon**

**jihoon** : okay now what do you headasses want

**thief** : remember professor pak

**jihoon** : ew

**thief** : mingyu and minghao have him

**jihoon** : well, fuck  
**jihoon** : you want some pity coffee

**minghoe** : no, we want you and your friend to tutor us

**jihoon** : cant be fucked getting out of bed, sorry

**minghoe** : shit

**kaboom** : what about a video call  
**kaboom** : we'll call after we get out of class

**minghoe** : hoooolllly shit, im not processing anything

**raphael** : lol dumbass

**thief** : pretty good idea actually  
**thief** : are you comfortable with showing your face?

**kaboom** : i dont mind

**minghoe** : yeah cause you handsome as shit

**raphael** : wdym minghao, youre a sexy beast

**minghoe** : fuck up junnie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meanie? o-owo
> 
> also, rip fred. you were iconic
> 
> thanks for reading <3


	5. how do your hands get so dirty from painting nails what the heck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seungcheol - hoe #1  
> Jeonghan - michelangelo  
> Jisoo - hoe #2  
> Junhui - raphael  
> Soonyoung - gimme back my sweatpants  
> Wonwoo - thief  
> Jihoon - jihoon  
> Minghao - minghoe  
> Mingyu - kaboom  
> Seokmin - hoe #3  
> Seungkwan - donatello  
> Hansol - shimmy shimmy  
> Chan - leonardo

**jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon (13)**

2:14 PM

 **gimme back my sweatpants** : 

 

 **gimme back my sweatpants** : how do your hands get so dirty from painting nails what the heck

 **leonardo** : AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

 **hoe #3** : SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKS

 **michelangelo** : omg

 **thief** : wait are you serious

 **gimme back my sweatpants** : wdym

 **jihoon** : you're joking  
**jihoon** : come on, you can't be this stupid

 **gimme back my sweatpants** : wHat dO yOU mEaN

 **thief** : omg he's being serious

 **jihoon** : i'm not......  
**jihoon** : i can't even

 **gimme back my sweatpants** : ???????

 **leonardo** : sometimes i forget he's older cause he does shit like this.....

 **gimme back my sweatpants** : WATCH YOUR PROFANITY  
**gimme back my sweatpants** : also  
**gimme back my sweatpants** : WDYM  
**gimme back my sweatpants** : ITS A VALID QUESTION

 **hoe #3** : maybe he did them while he was fighting a spider or something

 **gimme back my sweatpants** : omg i need me someone like that

 **michelangelo** : i'm literally losing brain cells omg

 **raphael** : hi what's going on

 **gimme back my sweatpants** : jun look at this  
**gimme back my sweatpants** :

: 

 **gimme back my sweatpants** : how do your hands get so dirty just by painting nails

 **raphael** : idk  
**raphael** : but what i want to know is  
**raphael** : how does that make you a man

 **thief** : i'm slowly losing faith in humanity

 **jihoon** : you still have faith?

 **donatello** : hello everyone ^w^

 **leonardo** : omg seungkwan hurry and leave before you lose braincells

 **donatello** : what the heck why

 **michelangelo** : just leave  
**michelangelo** : take advice from a fellow ninja turtle

 **gimme back my sweatpants** : OMG SEUNGKWAN SCROLL UP AND TELL ME  
**gimme back my sweatpants** : HOW DO YOUR HANDS GET SO DIRTY AFTER PAINTING NAILS

 **donatello** : omg what the heck

 **shimmy shimmy** : yo why we sending hand pics

 **hoe #3** : hansol, help us solve the mystery

 **shimmy shimmy** : i'm no shaggy but i'll try my best

 **hoe #3** : how do your hands get so dirty from painting nails

 **shimmy shimmy** : idk dude ask google

 **donatello** : OMG I GET IT NOW  
**donatello** : I'M SO DUMB

 **gimme back my sweatpants** : WHAT

 **hoe #3** : EXPLAIN TO US

 **hoe #2** : greetings

 **hoe #1** : hi guys

 **raphael** : omg all the hoes

 **hoe #2** : someone change my name  
**hoe #2** : please

 **gimme back my sweatpants** : well, since you asked so nicely....  
**gimme back my sweatpants** : but you have to explain something to me after

 **leonardo** : no, lemme do it

 **hoe #3** : GUYS TELL ME I DONT GET IT

 **gimme back my sweatpants** : no me

 **thief** : how did you get into uni

 **leonardo** : no me

 **michelangelo** : tbh i feel like he's here illegally or smth

 **gimme back my sweatpants** : no me

 **hoe #3** : THIS IS BULLYING

 **hoe #2** : i want chan to do it, i don't trust this sweatpant guy

 **gimme back my sweatpants** : first of all  
**gimme back my sweatpants** : it's sweatpants, not sweatpant  
**gimme back my sweatpants** : second of all  
**gimme back my sweatpants** : my name is soonyoung

 **leonardo** has changed **hoe #2'** s nickname to **rap king**

 **leonardo** has changed **gimme back my sweatpant** 's nickname to **sweatpant guy**

 **rap king** : when will you ever let me live, i was drunk goshdarnit

 **sweatpant guy** : i wanted to change his name :((((((  
**sweatpant guy** : so he would tell me  
**sweatpant guy** : yknow what, i'll ask anyway                                                                **sweatpant guy** :  

 

 

 **hoe #1** : that's cool

 **rap king** : i didn't know you had a job

 **sweatpant guy** : so he did his gf's nails while he was working?  
**sweatpant guy** : he should be fired >:((

 **raphael** : my boss threatens to fire me whenever i miss a spot when cleaning

 **rap king** : wait i'm so confused

 **hoe #1** : i just scrolled up and  
**hoe #1** : bye

 **rap king** : why what's wrong  
**rap king** : oh  
**rap king** : brb gonna get dip cookies into bleach

 **hoe #3** : wtf why bleach  
**hoe #3** : use orange juice instead

 **sweatpant guy** : omg yes i love that

 **michelangelo** : i'm-

 **leonardo** : i regret everything

 **kaboom** : FINALLY

 **minghoe** : FREEDOM

 **sweatpant guy** : guys help omg

 **minghoe** : nope, gotta blast

 **kaboom** : what's wrong

 **sweatpant guy** : look at the picture and then explain to me  
**sweatpant guy** : how do your hands get so dirty from painting fingernails

 **kaboom** : nice one  
**kaboom** : so what do you need help with

 **jihoon** : he's serious.

 **kaboom** : what?  
**kaboom** : deadass?

 **jihoon** : i wish i was joking but yes.

 **kaboom** : .............

 **thief** : this is sad, i'm just gonna tell him

 **jihoon** : no don't  
**jihoon** : make him look like an idiot

 **sweatpant guy** : JIHOON TF  
**sweatpant guy** : you're no longer invited to my weekly gatherings

 **jihoon** : good  
**jihoon** : didn't want to dress up as a goddamn vegetable anyway

 **sweatpant guy** : (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ 

 **thief** : mingyu and minghao 

 **minghoe** : you called

 **thief** : do you still need help

 **minghoe** : yes tf

 **thief** has started a video call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspired by this one time where i was looking through pinterest and when i saw this pic, i was like "wtf how do your hands get so dirty after painting nails" and then i realised what he meant five seconds after 
> 
> i'm such an idiot omg 
> 
> thanks for reading <3


	6. my name is Wonwoo, you forgetful coffee beans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seungcheol - hoe #1  
> Jeonghan - michelangelo  
> Jisoo - rap king  
> Junhui - raphael  
> Soonyoung - sweatpant guy  
> Wonwoo - thief  
> Jihoon - jihoon  
> Minghao - minghoe  
> Mingyu - kaboom  
> Seokmin - hoe #3  
> Seungkwan - donatello  
> Hansol - shimmy shimmy  
> Chan - leonardo
> 
> \- 
> 
> when there's quotation marks and proper grammar, they're in the video call

**jeonghan** **and his hoes + jihoon (13)**

2:42 PM

**minghoe** has joined the call

**kaboom** has joined the call

**donatello** has joined the call

**rap** **king** has joined the call

**leonardo** has joined the call

**shimmy shimmy** has joined the call

**hoe #3** has joined the call

**raphael** has joined the call

**hoe #1** : wtf wheres my invite

**michelangelo** : cheol.....

**michelangelo** has joined the call

**hoe #1** : wow thanks  
**hoe #1** : oh

**hoe #1** has joined the call

**jihoon** : sigh

**jihoon** has joined the call

 

**minghoe** : "Dude, this is so laggy and weird!"

**donatello** : "Hi guys!"

**raphael** : "Holy shit, everyone is so hot."

**leonardo** : "Hi guys!"

**hoe #1** : "Woah."

**rap king** : "My Internet bill is suffering."

**raphael** : "Lol wut."

**michelangelo** : "Whose idea was this."

**kaboom** : "His username was thief but I kind of forgot what is actual name is..."

**thief** : "My name is Wonwoo, you forgetful coffee beans."

**jihoon** : "This is a mistake."

**jihoon** has left the call

**shimmy** **shimmy** : "Oh, fUCK-"

**shimmy** **shimmy** has left the call

**leonardo** : “What happened to Hansol?”

**michelangelo** : “I think he dropped his phone or something.”

**rap** **king** : “Guys, let’s play Skribbl.io!"

**leonardo** : "Ooh, yes!"

**donatello** : "Good idea!"

**hoe #1** : "I can't draw but sure!"

**minghoe** : "Alright, I'm gonna show everyone who's the boss!"

**kaboom** : "The fuck you are. We're supposed to do that stupid assignment that's due in two weeks."

**hoe #3** : "HA, SUCKS TO BE YOU I GUESS."

**minghoe** : "Shut the heck up, it's due in two weeks. I'm just going to do it all on the night before."

**hoe #3** : "Oh my gosh guys, look at that cat over there."

**thief** : "Aww."

**raphael** : "Where are you?"

**hoe #3** : "Outside."

**raphael** : "Outside? Never heard of her."

**hoe #1** : "So how do we play this game?"

**rap** **king** : "Hang on, I'm making it now."

**sweatpant** **guy** has joined the call

**sweatpant** **guy** : "YAHA!!!!!"

**donatello** : "AHHHHH."

**michelangelo** : "Holy shit, what the fuck was that."

**leonardo** : "That's his mating call."

**thief** has left the call

**kaboom** : "Crap, what do I do now."

**minghoe** : "Leave it until the last minute, you hoe."

**kaboom** : "Says you."

**raphael** : "No don't, it's a really bad idea."

**thief** has joined the call

**thief** : "Okay, so I just remembered that I was supposed to tutor you assholes."

**kaboom** : "Damn right."

**raphael** : "Soonyoung, why's it so bright for you."

**sweatpant** **guy** : "I'm outside."

**raphael** : "Dude, what is this outside everyone keeps talking about."

**rap** **king** : "Alright walnuts, join. I already sent a link in the group chat."

**michelangelo** : "Dude, whoever wins first place the most should totally get a prize."

**donatello** : "Who's playing?"

**hoe** **#1** : "Me, Jeonghan, Chan......Jisoo......Jisso and.......oh my god, I just realised that no one officially introduced each other."

**donatello** : "Oh. We should probably do that."

**thief** : "How, there's literally ten billion people in this call."

**leonardo** : "Ooh! We should turn off our camera and then I'll nominate a person to introduce themselves. They'll reveal their ugly ass face and then nominate the next person."

**michelangelo** : "Y'all, that's my son."

**minghoe** : "Are we just going to ignore the fact that he called us ugly..."

**hoe** **#1** : "Chan has been influenced by Jeonghan."

  
After a long and tiring process of introductions, everyone finally knows who's who. Well, everyone except Jihoon and Hansol. But that's a matter for a different day.

Anyways, Mingyu and Minghao are being tutored by Wonwoo, Jisoo, Jeonghan, Seungcheol, Chan, Junhui and Seungkwan are all playing Skribbl.io, Seokmin is taking a small walk around his place and Soonyoung is on his way home from getting Subway. All seems peaceful. Until....

 

**hoe** **#3** : "Oh my god! Dude, this is sick!"

**hoe** **#1** : "What is?"

**sweatpant** **guy** : "Waddup fuckers!!"

**raphael** : "What?"

**donatello** : "Oh my god, they met each other in real life."

**sweatpant** **guy** : "This is so cool, we can do so many magic tricks!"

**hoe** **#3** : "Yo, check this out!"

**thief** : "Yeah, that's cool and all but can you please hurry home with the Subway? I'm starving."

**sweatpant** **guy** : "You know what, just for that, I'm going to take my sweet time. I'm going to hang out with my new best friend."

**hoe** **#3** : "Don't you wish your best friend is as cool as mine?"

**michelangelo** : "How do you guys make something so beautiful so....braincell destroying?"

**rap** **king** : "It's talent."

**kaboom** : "Ah......"

**hoe** **#3** : "Don't listen to them, new best friend. THey're just jealous because they're best friend is are boring as hell."

**michelangelo** : "Can confirm."

**hoe** **#1** : "What the hell, Jeonghan? I can be fu- CRAP, I messed up the drawing!"

**sweatpant** **guy** : "Anyways, new best friend. Let's go put plastic flamingoes in Wonwoo's garden or something."

**thief** : "Okay, what the fuck? Soonyoung, stay the hell away from my garden if you-"

**kaboom** : "ACHOO!!!!"

the video call ended

  
**jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon (13)**

3:17 PM

**michelangelo** : oh what the fuck

**leonardo** : all i heard was a sneeze and then i got disconnected

**kaboom** : ah  
**kaboom** : oops.

**minghoe** : HIS SNEEZE WAS SO STRONG THAT HE FUCKING ENDED THE CALL

**raphael** : WHAT THE FUCK AHAHAHAHAHA

**donatello** : I CANT BREATH THATS SO FUNNY AHAHAHAHAH

**hoe** # **1** : WHAT AHAHAHAHAHHAAH

**thief** : i guess you can say  
**thief** : his sneeze was so loud  
**thief** : it was similar to a kaboom

**minghoe** : ........

**minghoe** has left **jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon**

**donatello** has left **jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon**

**hoe #1** has left **jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon**

**sweatpant** **guy** : i mean it was pretty funny

**jihoon** : you have a shit sense of humour

**sweatpant guy** : are you kidding, this is the first thing you say to me today  
**sweatpant guy** : i am: hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have 169 kudos
> 
> *through tears* nice.


	7. idk how i will but i will become a anime girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seungcheol - hoe #1  
> Jeonghan - michelangelo  
> Jisoo - rap king  
> Junhui - raphael  
> Soonyoung - sweatpant guy  
> Wonwoo - thief  
> Jihoon - jihoon  
> Minghao - minghoe  
> Mingyu - kaboom  
> Seokmin - hoe #3  
> Seungkwan - donatello  
> Hansol - shimmy shimmy  
> Chan - leonardo

**jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon (13)**

10:34PM

**sweatpant guy** : have you ever just looked at an anime girl and think

**michelangelo** : i wanna fuck her??

**hoe #1** : i wanna marry her?

**kaboom** : which anime girl are we talking about tho

**sweatpant guy** : i wanna be her  
**sweatpant guy** : wait what

**minghoe** : wtf michelangelo  
**minghoe** : i forgot your real name but what the fuck dude

**donatello** : then there's seungcheol with his wholesomeness

**leonardo** : then there's just mingyu

**michelangelo** : my name is jeonghan  
**michelangelo** : and no, i do not want to fuck an anime girl  
**michelangelo** : i was just ending seokmin's sentence

**hoe #3** : you called?

**sweatpant guy** : i'm soonyoung wtf  
**sweatpant guy** : anyways, yeah  
**sweatpant guy** : i wanna be an anime girl

**kaboom** : how are you going to become an anime girl tho

**leonardo** : yeah, are you just going to animate yourself as an anime girl

**donatello** : or are you going to draw yourself as an anime girl

**sweatpant** **guy** : idk how i will but i will become a anime girl

**hoe #3** : search on wikihow, bro

**sweatpant guy** : omg  
**sweatpant guy** : good idea bro  
**sweatpant guy** : you're such a genius

**rap king** : i heard of this saying  
**rap king** : you are what you eat

**hoe #1** : that doesn't sound right

**thief** : that's funny  
**thief** : i don't remember eating stress and anxiety

**minghoe** : bro  
**minghoe** : too loud  
**minghoe** : but mood

**sweatpant guy** : oh em gee, are you telling me that if i eat an anime girl, i will become her  
**sweatpant guy** : but isn't that cannibalism

**raphael** : no, you shouldn't literally eat her  
**raphael** : you should eat her ass

**shimmy shimmy** : but if you eat an anime girl's ass, wouldn't you just become a pair of buttcheeks

**rap king** : :o

**michelangelo** : oh my god

**donatello** : wh-

**minghoe** : what the fuck

**sweatpant guy** : AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

**raphael** : IM WHEEZING SO HARD  
**raphael** : IMAGINE A WALKING PAIR OF ASS CHEEKS WITH FISHNETS AND HIGH HEELS SKSKSKSKSKSKS

**minghoe** : JUN YOU JUST MADE IT WORSE

**sweatpant guy** : NO HE MADE IT BETTER AHAHAHAHAHAH

**michelangelo** : bruh, now i can't eat ass without thinking about what shimmy shimmy said

**jihoon** : wtf did i just log on to

**michelangelo** : a mistake

**hoe #3** : something so beautiful you will start crying

**jihoon** : that was a rhetorical question but okay

**thief** : oh yeah jihoon  
**thief** : can you send that assignment

**jihoon** : ???  
**jihoon** : lol what assignment

**sweatpant guy** : THE HISTORY ESSAY WHERE WE HAVE TO HAVE OVER 10000 WORDS  
**sweatpant guy** : I ALREADY FINISHED IT BUT MINES ONLY GOES UP TO 3854 WORDS

**minghoe** : damn, thats a big oof right there

**sweatpant guy** : AND ITS DUE TMR  
**sweatpant guy** : AT 12 AM SHARP  
**sweatpant guy** : WONWOO HE LP

**jihoon** : fuck

**thief** : he hasn't started

**jihoon** : bitch i haven't even wrote my name 

**hoe #1** : omg

**raphael** : lol rip

**sweatpant guy** : see, this is why i wanna be an anime girl  
**sweatpant guy** : i dont have to worry about stupid assignments and stupid teachers  
**sweatpant guy** : i look beautiful and thicc, my skin is clear and i sound like a cute anime girl  
**sweatpant guy** : being an anime girl just  
**sweatpant guy** : has its perks, yanno

**rap king** : but what if you lived in a world like attack on titan or tokyo ghoul

**sweatpant guy** : obviously i would be a badass and destroy the fuck out of everyone??

**michelangelo** : would you be in a harem

**sweatpant guy** : depends on the guy  
**sweatpant guy** : if it's someone like kirito then nah  
**sweatpant guy** : but if it's someone who actually has a personality and flaws and shit then hells yeah buddy  
**sweatpant guy** : readers that like sao, pls don't hate me

**shimmy shimmy** : what about a world like boku no pico

**sweatpant guy** : .............

**rap king** : .......

**minghoe** : ...........

**kaboom** : ,,,,,,,,,,,

**rap king** : will the rating of this fanfic change 

**hoe #3** kicked **shimmy shimmy** out of **jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon**

**thief** : soonyoung get off your phone before i steal it

**sweatpant guy** : GODDAMNIT WONWOO, JUST LET ME BE AN ANIME GIRL

-

**(Jihoon and Seungcheol private chat)**

10:42PM

**Choi Seungcheol** : hey jihoon

**Lee Jihoon** : who tf  
**Lee Jihoon** : oh, you're the guy who thought my name was fred

**Choi Seungcheol** : haha yeah  
**Choi Seungcheol** : anyways, do you need help with that assignment?

**Lee Jihoon** : no, i got this in the bag  
**Lee Jihoon** : thanks for offering though

**Choi Seungcheol** : if you need help with anything, just let me know

**Lee Jihoon** : thanks

 

11:27PM

**Lee Jihoon** : this might sound really random but can we pls call, im about to fall asleep and i only have one paragraph left  
**Lee Jihoon** : im so tired and having company just helps me stay awake  
**Lee Jihoon** : you don't even have to talk, just your presence is enough

**Choi Seungcheol** : sure

-

**jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon (12)**

11:57PM

**jihoon** : HAHA ASSHOLES  
**jihoon** : I DID IT  
**jihoon** : JUST THREE MINUTES BEFORE THE DUE DATE

**kaboom** : is he okay

**hoe #1** : he's just glad that it's over

**kaboom** : oh, makes sense

**thief** : nice job jihoon

**minghoe** : damn, you did great

**donatello** : how did he manage to write an essay with over 10000 words in less than three hours.....

**sweatpant guy** : jihoon can do anything if he feels like it

**hoe #3** : soonyoung, did you finish your assignment

**sweatpant guy** : yeah, i did :DDDD

**jihoon** : nice job boys  
**jihoon** : oh shit, im gonna crash  
**jihoon** : later fuckers

**rap king** : .....  
**rap king** : wild.

**raphael** : damn, that's the most notifications i ever got from jihoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah fuck, i have a book to read, a movie to watch and two assignments to do. am i gonna do it? hell no
> 
> jicheol? ohohohoho


	8. imma flee to northern canada and find a polar bear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seungcheol - hoe #1  
> Jeonghan - michelangelo  
> Jisoo - rap king  
> Junhui - raphael  
> Soonyoung - sweatpant guy  
> Wonwoo - thief  
> Jihoon - jihoon  
> Minghao - minghoe  
> Mingyu - kaboom  
> Seokmin - hoe #3  
> Seungkwan - donatello  
> Hansol - shimmy shimmy  
> Chan - leonardo

**jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon (13)**

4:23PM

**kaboom** : guys i'm speechless

**shimmy shimmy** : yes, that is the exact reaction i had when i tried a burger dipped in ice cream for the first time

**leonardo** : wtf

**raphael** : try it, it tastes pretty bomb

**rap king** : i've heard of fries in ice cream before but this?  
**rap king** : wack.

**kaboom** : seokmin is so bad at cooking??  
**kaboom** : homeboy almost burnt the kitchen down cause he was tryna make some fucking popcorn  
**kaboom** : in the microwave, mind you  
**kaboom** : gordon ramsay would kill him on the spot

**minghoe** : never use homeboy again

**hoe #3** : WHO TF EVEN USES A MICROWAVE TO COOK POPCORN

**donatello** : uhhh  
**donatello** : normal ppl???

**kaboom** : idk how he did it  
**kaboom** : but he did it somehow

**hoe #3** : why were we making popcorn again, we work in a goddamn restaurant

**kaboom** : you were the one who conveniently had popcorn in your bag

**hoe #3** : oh  
**hoe #3** : oh yeah

**sweatpant guy** changed **hoe #3** 's nickname to **popcorn destroyer**

**raphael** : you make it sound like popcorn is a euphemism for dick or smth

**shimmy shimmy** : aw, i'm craving popcorn now but i don't have any

**raphael** : do you mean dick or???

**shimmy shimmy** : i mean the food, you wet piece of underwear

**rapahel** : i-

**minghoe** : lol get rekt bitch

**donatello** : i'm craving popcorn too  
**donatello** : omf hansol, you should come over  
**donatello** : we can watch a movie and eat popcorn

**shimmy shimmy** : do you have the spongebob movie where they get that crown

**donatello** : yeah

**shimmy shimmy** : i'm on my way bby

**popcorn destroye** r: o

**kaboom** : wh

**minghoe** : damn

**rap king** : haha, hansol kind of reminds me of spongebob

**leonardo** : jisoo, you ruined it with that one sentence

**rap king** : what the heck chan

-

**jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon (13)**

9:57PM

**jihoon** : fuck fuck guys i fucked up

**thief** : that's surprisingly a lot of fucks for you, jihoon

**hoe #1** : what happened?

**sweatpant guy** : omg did you accidentally spill coffee on that one girl who's allergic to coffee??

**minghoe** : wh  
**minghoe** : how can you be allergic to coffee

**thief** : the human body is weird

**jihoon** : stfu wonwoo, i am not in the mood for yet another one of your existential crises  
**jihoon** : yknow how i sent my assignment three minutes before the due date?

**kaboom** : you were screaming about it last night, how can we not remember

**jihoon** : well, i checked the document and  
**jihoon** : i sent the wrong file

**leonardo** : oh god

**shimmy shimmy** : big oof

**minghoe** : my heart is crying

**raphael** : you have a heart?  
**raphael** : shocker.

**minghoe** : oh my god i hate you

**jihoon** : this certain document includes all the sarcastic comments and jokes i made while writing because god, i needed entertainment

-

**(Jihoon and Seungcheol private chat)**

**Choi Seungcheol** : is that why you were laughing under your breath yesterday

**Lee Jihoon** : .......  
**Lee Jihoon** : yeah

**Choi Seungcheol** : lol cute

**Lee Jihoon** : wha-

-

**jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon (13)**

**kaboom** : what kind of sarcastic comments are we talking about

**jihoon** : this one line practically sums my entire essay  
**jihoon** : alright motherfuckers. buckle your seatbelts cause y'all are going on a wild ride. what is this aforementioned wild ride? well, this wild ride will teach you so many useless things, you're brain will literally melt. but do readers know what facts aren't irrelevant to their lives? facts that will change their lives for the better? random ass facts about polar bears. yes, polar bears. the only bear found in the arctic. did y'all know that polar bears are more likely to feel hot than cold? wack. wait fuck, i'm getting off topic. anyways, prepare yourself to be taught something that the author has learned in less than five hours. let's get it!

**thief** : jihoon, you used the wrong your

**sweatpant guy** : oh my god, you never use let's get it, that's how tired you are

**donatello** : oh my gosh polar bears

**minghoe** : HE LP

**michelangelo** : THAT'S ME OH MY GOD

**popcorn destroyer** : THATS THE BEST THING I HEARD THIS WEEK HOLY SHIT

**kaboom** : I CANT

**shimmy shimmy** : i actually can't breath holy shit

**rap** **king** : that's how i'm going to start all my essays

**hoe #1** : bitch, that's plagiarism 

**leonardo** : why am i not surprised

**jihoon** : oh my god, i just remembered that i made fun of his egg head looking ass  
**jihoon** : someone help me escape the country  
**jihoon** : imma flee to northern canada and find a polar bear  
**jihoon** : and name him groot and make him my son

**leonardo** : hyung, that's illegal

**jihoon** : your existence is illegal  
**jihoon** : anyways, i'm gonna take a nap

**minghoe** : how will that solve your problem???

**jihoon** : naps solve everything, you ignorant dingus

**raphael** : omg

**raphael** changed **minghoe** 's nickname to **ignorant dingus**

**ignorant dingus** : words cannot express how much i hate you

**michelangelo** : as a person who takes naps, i agree that naps solve everything

**thief** : poverty? world hunger? global warming? climate change? limited drinking water?

**michelangelo** : jesus wonwoo, we never said it solved world problems. we just said naps solve OUR problems

**thief** : but you said  
**thief** : you know what, never mind

**hoe #1** : jeonghan, you don't nap  
**hoe #1** : you hibernate

**popcorn destroyer** : big mood

**raphael** : omg if that ain't me

**leonardo** : hyung, you jump around in the middle of the night

**sweatpant guy** : can confirm, he fucking almost broke my ankles during our sleepover

**raphael** : bitch, you snack in the middle of the night

**ignorant dingus** : it's all silent then you just hear fucking _**CRUNCH**_

**sweatpant guy** : I GET HUNGRY, OKAY

**donatello** : mood  
**donatello** : speaking of hunger, was that you hansol

**shimmy shimmy** : wasn't me

**popcorn destroyer** : well it was fuckin one of yus

**sweatpant guy** : disgustang

**popcorn destroyer** : AYYYYY

**sweatpant guy** : AYYYY

**shimmy shimmy** : it was the couch

**hoe #1** : real mature, blaming the couch like that

**kaboom** : o

**ignorant dingus** : you guys are still together?

**donatello** : yeah, we ended up marathoning spongebob

**raphael** : i dunno if that's cute or weird

**leonardo** : excuse me sir, that's cute

**donatello** : hansol, wanna get some chinese takeaway

**shimmy shimmy** : o  
**shimmy shimmy** : can we spilt the bill  
**shimmy shimmy** : i'd feel uncomfortable if you were paying for the whole thing

**donatello** : sure :DD

**ignorant dingus** : omg my heart  
**ignorant dingus** : fuck off jun, i know what you're gonna say

**raphael** : well, think again sweetheart  
**raphael** : my reply is: is that your reaction whenever i'm around you?

**ignorant dingus** : wtf  
**ignorant dingus** : GAYYYYYY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 3am. 
> 
> it's my birthday today (well, in my timezone). so uh. hooray???
> 
> fuck, i still haven't finished those assignments


	9. why dont you get off your fucking phone aND FUCKING ASK HIM IRL LIKE A NORMAL SOCIABLE PERSON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seungcheol - hoe #1  
> Jeonghan - michelangelo  
> Jisoo - rap king  
> Junhui - raphael  
> Soonyoung - sweatpant guy  
> Wonwoo - thief  
> Jihoon - jihoon  
> Minghao - ignorant dingus  
> Mingyu - kaboom  
> Seokmin - popcorn destroyer  
> Seungkwan - donatello  
> Hansol - shimmy shimmy  
> Chan - leonardo

**jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon (130**

12:10PM

**raphael** : omg guys guess who i see at the cat cafe

**rap king** : a cat

**hoe #1** : a cafe

**shimmy shimmy** : obama

**raphael** : good guesses but no  
**raphael** : his name starts with jeon and ends with wonwoo

**thief** : i’m reading harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban, what do you want

**shimmy shimmy** : who tf reads at a cat cafe when you can be playing with cats

**leonardo** : hi this is random but does anyone wanna go shopping with me  
**leonardo** : i need new shoes  
**leonardo** : plus, we can hang out and stuff

**kaboom** : i wanna go

**ignorant** **dingus** : you have class

**kaboom** : i’ll go after class, you dingus

**raphael** : :3

**ignorant** **dingus** : fuck you, for that, i’m coming too

**leonardo** : yay, the more the merrier !!!

**shimmy shimmy** : @ **popcorn** **destroyer**  
**shimmy shimmy** : lets hang out

**popcorn destroyer** : OOH SURE

**michelangelo** : are we y'all hanging out or smth

**donatello** : seems like it

**michelangelo** : huh  
**michelangelo** : wanna play a round of skribbl.io or smth, i cant be fucked leaving my bed

**donatello** : ooh sure

**hoe #1** : lemme join too

**sweatpant** **guy** : @ **jihoon**

**jihoon** : no.

**sweatpant** **guy** : CMON  
**sweatpant** **guy** : lets get donuts o(｀ω´*)o

**jihoon** : hhhhh

**sweatpant** **guy** : sigh  
**sweatpant** **guy** : i’ll also get you coffee

**jihoon** : 

-

**jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon (13)**

12:56PM

**sweatpant guy** : yo hoon

**jihoon** : are you serious, i'm right next to you

**sweatpant guy** : is it just me or is that one of the guys in the chat

**jihoon** : i don't fucking know

**leonardo** : who?

**sweatpant guy** : i think it's the guy who i called furry  
**sweatpant guy** : his name says joshua tho  
**sweatpant guy** : jisoo, you didnt tell me you have a twin

**leonardo** : he doesnt have a twin tho???

**sweatpant** **guy** : wh

**leonardo** : jisoo works in jam jam donuts

**raphael** : what the hell kind of name is that

**thief** : you can't judge, you named one of the fucking cats sbeve

**ignorant dingus** : someone grant me rights  
**ignorant dingus** : hang on a second, how did jun change my nickname when no one granted him rights to the chat

**author** : *sweats*

**leonardo** : i think he stole my phone and then gave himself rights thru my phone

**ignorant dingus** : wtf why is he so extra  
**ignorant dingus** : grant me rights as well

**leonardo** : gimme three compliments :3

**ignorant dingus** : compliment, compliment, compliment

**leonardo** : wha

**leonardo** granted **ignorant dingus** the rights to the chat

**ignorant dingus** changed **raphael** 's nickname to **sbeve**

**sbeve** : ?????  
**sbeve** : okay minghao

**rap king** : oh hey guys

**sweatpant guy** : can we get free donuts

**rap king** : i donut think so

**jihoon** : 

**sweatpant guy** : hey after your shift, come with us

**rap king** : sure

**jihoon** : what

**shimmy shimmy** : GUYS I HAVE A REALLY IMPORTANT PICTURE TO SHARE  
**shimmy shimmy** : 

**leonardo** : oh my god

**sweatpant guy** : OMG BUY THAT SO WE CAN BE MATCHING

**popcorn destroyer** : YES  
**popcorn destroyer** : WE CAN BRUSH OUR TEETH LIKE THAT ONE VINE

**sweatpant guy** : HECKS YEAH

**michelangelo** : goals

**sweatpant guy** : also, @ **rap king** do you have a twin?

**jihoon** : why dont you get off your fucking phone aND FUCKING ASK HIM IRL LIKE A NORMAL SOCIABLE PERSON

**rap king** : not that i know of

**sweatpant guy** : then who's joshua??

**rap king** : oh, i have two names  
**rap king** : korean and english  
**rap king** : i was born in LA

**donatello** : hansol, i know you really want to say it but you already said this in chapter three

**shimmy shimmy** : i breathed  
**shimmy shimmy** : also, DUDE COOL  
**shimmy shimmy** : lets meet up one day and eat some good ass food

**rap king** : yes.

**sbeve** : minghao why can't we be like that

**ignorant dingus** : you want us to hang out

**sbeve** : ew no tf

**sweatpant guy** : lets go hosh and josh plus jihoon

**rap king** : do you mean drake and josh

**sweatpant guy** : no

**ignorant dingus** : his nickname is hoshi

**leonardo** : mines dino ( ´ ∀ ` )

**sbeve** : minghao, tell everyone yours

**ignorant** **dingus** : fuck off, banana cake

**sbeve** changed i **gnorant dingus** 's nickname to **the8**

**the8** : FUCK YOU BIG JUNGUS

**sbeve** : i-  
**sbeve** : get ready to disappear as i unleash my 5% power

**the8** : you'll never defeat me  
**the8** : not when i have the infinity gauntlet

**jihoon** : omg stop, i'm gonna cry  
**jihoon** : y'all seen endgame yet

**hoe #1** : OKAY, LETS STEER CLEAR FROM THAT PATH

**michelangelo** : THIS CHAPTER IS OVER K LOVE YOU BYE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i watched end game and now i'm really sad
> 
> school is starting soon, e n d m e 
> 
> call call call gives me war flashbacks to the time where i tripped on the stairs and then proceeded to laugh like a maniac.
> 
> help idk how to use tumblr


	10. who did it (part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seungcheol - hoe #1  
> Jeonghan - michelangelo  
> Jisoo - rap king  
> Junhui - sbeve  
> Soonyoung - sweatpant guy  
> Wonwoo - thief  
> Jihoon - jihoon  
> Minghao - the8  
> Mingyu - kaboom  
> Seokmin - popcorn destroyer   
> Seungkwan - donatello  
> Hansol - shimmy shimmy  
> Chan - leonardo

**jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon (13)**

2:50PM

**sbeve** : shit

**shimmy** **shimmy** : watch your profanity

**sbeve** left **jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon**

**the8** left **jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon**

**leonardo** left **jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon**

**donatello** : what the heck

**michelangelo** : i smell tea

**sweatpant** **guy** changed **sweatpant** **guy** 's nickname to **who**

**who** : WHO WAS IT

**shimmy** **shimmy** : who let the dogs out  
 **shimmy** **shimmy** : who

**kaboom** : who

**popcorn** **destroyer** : who

**donatello** : idk whether to be weirded out or amazed

**who** added **sbeve** to **jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon**

**who** added **the8** to **jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon**

**who** added **leonardo** to **jeonghan and his hoes + jihoon**

**the8** : the weather is so nice today

**leonardo** : i know  
 **leonardo** : the sun is shining and it's so warm but not too warm  
 **leonardo** : ah i love spring

**sbeve** : it's the perfect weather to take a nap dontcha think  
 **sbeve** : or even go outside under a tree and read a book if youre a nerd like wonwoo

**thief** : what the fuck is that supposed to mean

**sbeve** : idk, you tell me

**michelangelo** : or maybe even enjoy a nice cup of fresh tea

**jihoon** : it's raining so hard outside  
 **jihoon** : nice weather, my ass

**sbeve** : what

**leonardo** : oh is it now

**who** : WHO WAS IT

**hoe #1** : who was what  
 **hoe #1** : who's who

**popcorn** **destroyer** : what

**who** : WHO STOLE MY SNACKS AND STRAWBERRY MILK  
 **who** : AND THEN PROCEEDED TO SPILL SAID STRAWBERRY MILK INSIDE MY SHOES  
 **who** : AND WHICH MOTHER TRUCKER HAS MY HOODIE

**the8** : what's a shoe  
 **the8** : never seen her before

**sbeve** : oh shit, it's time for my koala's daily corndog  
 **sbeve** : haha i hafta go

**thief** : we're not in the land of upside down

**jihoon** : hate to break it to you but the upside down doesn't exist either wonwoo

**thief** : you talking about Australia or stranger things

**shimmy** **shimmy** : neither of them exist

**rap** **king** : why are you guys so scared, soonyoung can't even harm a fly

**donatello** : he cries when he leaves his naruto plushy  
 **donatello** : he spends at least ten minutes just crying when he leaves the house just to the mail

**sbeve** : the thing is, when he gets real pissed  
 **sbeve** : he's mad scary

**thief** : as much as i dont want to admit it, this is true

**hoe #1** : soonyoung can get mad?  
 **hoe #1** : just to make sure, are we talking about the same person?

**leonardo** : YES  
 **leonardo** : HE MIGHT NOT SEEM LIKE IT BUT HE KNOWS HOW TO FIGHT

**who** : get your stupid furry butts here right now and tell me which one of you fuckers did this or i'll use force

**kaboom** : what the hell did i just read

**michelangelo** : ^ me every time i open this stupid group chat

**the8** : that's the stupidest threat ever but i'm oddly intimidated

**leonardo** : YOULL NEVER FIND US

**kaboom** : what are you guys gonna do

**sbeve** : hide until he calms down

**shimmy** **shimmy** : that's a shit plan

**popcorn** **destroyer** : but what if he never calms down

**the8** : well i guess we just have to be prepared to die

**hoe #1** : why dont you guys just  
 **hoe #1** : apologise  
 **hoe #1** : like normal people

**jihoon** : bold of you to assume they’re normal people

**michelangelo** : this is how good tea is made seungcheol

**the8** : we just dont want to face is wrath so we're gonna hide

**who** : now i know what your plan is  
 **who** : get ready :DD

**the8** : shit

**leonardo** : okay now i'm really scared

**sbeve** : i may or may not have pissed myself

**the8** : EW WHAT  
 **the8** : JUN

**sbeve** : MINGHAO CALM DOWN JEEZ IM ONLY KIDDING  
 **sbeve** : DONT SCREAM  
 **sbeve** : CHAN WHERE ARE YOU GOING WHAT THE FUCK

**sweatpant** **guy** : hello jun!

**sbeve** : hi soonyoung...

**sweatpant** **guy** : those shoes look familiar

**the8** : okay hes not mad anymore

**sweatpant** **guy** : hi minghao  
 **sweatpant** **guy** : run :DD

**shimmy** **shimmy** : beat drop

**kaboom** : oh my god, i hear it in my head

**the8** : oh fuck

**sweatpant** **guy** : what the heck, why are you running  
 **sweatpant** **guy** : WHY ARE YOU RUNNING

**the8** : JUN NOT THAT WAY

**jihoon** : why dont you guys get off your phones and run

**michelangelo** : no jihoon, it’s funnier this way  
 **michelangelo** : we’re getting the inside scoop

**kaboom** : all i can imagine is jun and minghao speed walking whilst typing aggressively

**sbeve** : minghao put your phone away now and aCTUALLY RUN

**the8** : you dont have to tell me twice

**thief** : lol why are you guys being so dramatic just get him some snacks or smth  
 **thief** : whenever he gets mad just buy him food   
**thief** : its that simple

**shimmy** **shimmy** : aint it a bit too late to tell them that

**thief** : oh  
 **thief** : oops

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeehaw
> 
> will jun, minghao and chan survive
> 
> find out in the next ep of dragon ball z
> 
> also, i would like to apologise for my nonexistent humour sksksks


End file.
